Grow Through What You Go Through

The most I have ever been bullied was the year I came out: 8th grade.

When I was in 7th grade, I had a crush on a girl for the first time, one of my best friends. I am lucky enough to have an accepting family, but I was still scared. Near the end of the summer, the girl I liked lost both of her parents suddenly and she and her siblings were put into foster care. When I finally was able to get officially diagnosed by a counselor in college, I realized that my mental illnesses were triggered by that event.

8th grade began and life got harder. I was happy for a while, despite my depression and lack of support from my parents regarding my obvious suicidal thoughts. I finally told my friend I liked her and we started dating. When her adoptive mother found out we "thought we were dating", she forcibly outed me to my mom. I was hurt, angry, and terrified. My mother wasn't angry, just concerned. And I feel lucky for that.

I spent all year dealing with these new and scary feelings. Still, very little of my depression was due to my sexuality. Until the end of the year.

Our 8th grade class went on a field trip and my girlfriend and I sat together on the bus. I spent the entire next day with people laughing behind my back. One kid threw a full, open milk carton at my back at lunch. I didn't know what they were whispering about until the Vice Principal called me and my girlfriend into his office. Someone had spread a rumor that we had sex on the bus. To this day, I don't know who did it or why. Our Vice Principal believed us when we denied everything, but I had to sit for the rest of last period in my student teacher's office because kids in my history class were throwing paper balls at me.

For the next month, I got bullied every day. Classmates would scoot away when I sat down. I got tripped in the hallway. On the second to last day, our class went on a trip to a local park for our awards ceremony. My girlfriend, a couple friends, and I were cornered by three girls from our class in the bathroom. They asked us if the rumors were true, called us names, asked when we decided to be gay, threatened to beat us up, and wouldn't let us leave. We told our teacher and she talked to them, but of course that made them angrier. They bullied us until school was out the next day.

I had been bullied plenty of times in my life. For my weight, my acne, and my atheism. But I had never been bullied like I was that last month of 8th grade. I cried all summer, scared it would continue Freshman year.

But it didn't continue. The summer ended, and people forgot. Or didn't care anymore.

I learned that year not to worry so much about what people think. Bullies don't care if rumors are false. They want to hurt you, because they can. If you are getting bullied, seek support. Support from friends, family, teachers, and counselors really makes a difference. And remember that you are not at fault, the bully is. You are who you are, you know what you're feeling and what you're going through. They don't. Their hurtful words do not matter. It will pass in time, and you will grow from it.